tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5562283155833378792.post6782857221943166350..comments2023-09-07T00:45:57.162+10:00Comments on Riff: 37. Life's curve ballJuliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09513648613788716017noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5562283155833378792.post-90383885151758298612010-02-06T19:36:55.955+11:002010-02-06T19:36:55.955+11:00Definitely does help. And yes, the word count is a...Definitely does help. And yes, the word count is an average aim, not an obligation.<br /><br />Now to check the post for tomorrow against this information.Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09513648613788716017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5562283155833378792.post-66248967369142490612010-02-06T19:07:23.326+11:002010-02-06T19:07:23.326+11:00Excellent, excellent, excellent!
Much better. The...Excellent, excellent, excellent!<br /><br />Much better. The "but" clause is yet another conjunction in an already complex sentence.<br /><br />I did a quick search and found the following at <a href="http://www.askoxford.com/betterwriting/plainenglish/sentencelength/" rel="nofollow">AskOxford</a>:<br /><br /><i>"Over the whole document, make average sentence length 15 to 20 words."</i><br /><br />The other sites I checked basically said the same thing. Of course, this doesn't mean all sentences should be the same length. Quite the contrary.<br /><br />Hope this helps.Vickihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02678687120165473412noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5562283155833378792.post-16923706490833493762010-02-06T18:15:23.931+11:002010-02-06T18:15:23.931+11:00I welcome honesty above all.
From your comment, a...I welcome honesty above all.<br /><br />From your comment, am I to understand that more than one "but" clause introduces a level of complexity that obscures meaning?<br /><br />How about the following?<br /><br />Being able to fund the purchase of the block behind "Strathmines" in late '57 had been touch and go for Henry. The tortuous negotiations had been led by Sanderson, a troublesome barrister with rooms in Hegarty’s Chambers in Phillip Street. Henry’s faith was frequently tested by hurdles erected by bureaucrats within the planning department of Woollahra Council.<br /><br />Still 57 words, but broken into three sentences. Is the meaning conveyed better by this structure?Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09513648613788716017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5562283155833378792.post-69017095489929620172010-02-06T15:14:53.568+11:002010-02-06T15:14:53.568+11:00“Henry left a trail in the morning dew” paints a w...<i>“Henry left a trail in the morning dew”</i> paints a wonderful word picture.<br /><br />I’m going to be honest here, Julie, and say I had to read through this twice. The reason, I think, is the 57-word second sentence. It’s long and includes two “but” clauses. Sorry.<br /><br />Gorgeous photo. Lush green grass… I’ve almost forgotten what that’s like.Vickihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02678687120165473412noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5562283155833378792.post-27422420084469884122010-02-06T14:42:07.057+11:002010-02-06T14:42:07.057+11:00This morning, as I wrote the third in the trilogy,...This morning, as I wrote the third in the trilogy, I wanted to use the term "solistalgia' and it was at that point that I recognised the similarity. So I diverged markedly ...Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09513648613788716017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5562283155833378792.post-84664323057445476892010-02-06T08:45:21.328+11:002010-02-06T08:45:21.328+11:00Ah now I see that they extended and built the gard...Ah now I see that they extended and built the garden. I love the description of the laying of the curve ...also love the photo .... reminds me of the Everglades driveway. Also the story reminds me a bit of the travails going on over at BitingMidge ... come to think of it there will be a Sanderson and bureaucrats there too.Joan Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16358008925558240778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5562283155833378792.post-82176653752073684072010-02-06T04:45:03.711+11:002010-02-06T04:45:03.711+11:00i loved "sanderson, who was a troublesome bar...i loved "sanderson, who was a troublesome barrister"<br /><br />aren't they all? :)myletterstoemilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17555607498974287844noreply@blogger.com