Sunday, September 12, 2010

255. Sitting in the morning sun

In 1954, Maggie and Joe first went to Paris.

There they happened upon the Jardin des Tuileries. Hesitantly, they carved out their antipodean window into an older world. As they sat, they heard the crunch of the pebbles beneath the shoes of the young lovers strolling arm-in-arm down the terrasses. They caught the crisp swish of the turning page of Le Monde, as monsieur tut-tutted his way through the turbulences of the world. Maggie and Joe soaked up more than the sun.

Maggie and Joe no longer journey to Paris.

In the early morning, they potter from their small appartemente in Wooloomooloo over to the gardens beside the fountain. They sit with the sun at their back, and reverie as the cathedral bells herald the day. Their eyes trace, and their ears catch, but their thoughts are elsewhere.

Maggie and Joe relive Paris, together, on a bench, in the antipodes.

Another view of Maggie and Joe


Joan Elizabeth said...

I prefer the B&W version. French, french, french ... coming at me from every direction ... I am going to ignore the lot of you and stick to Australia.

Julie said...

Yes, I prefer the B&W too .. but wanted to show another angle just in case people really needed to know whether men or women ... I think not being totally sure is part of the pleasure of the image.

As for the frenchiness ... it is just oozing at the moment ... I guess it is the preparation ...

JeffScape said...

What is with Paris and you Aussies???


And I, too, prefer the B&W. It suits the description more.

I'm also not a fan of the line "Maggie and Joe no longer journey to Paris." It stabs out at me... like it shouldn't be there. Too abrupt, maybe? I dunno... feels more like a setup for "because they're dead" rather than the more pleasant ending you give us. Then again, that just might be my own sick and twisted mind at work.

That stated, I'm really liking this blog of yours.

Julie said...

Thank you, Jeff.

I am working on a longer piece of just over 1000 words. My first try at that length. But having done all these 150 words Riffs, I am finding the longer piece not too tough. Which is a relief.

Now to the middle line here. Interesting you think the 'dead' ending. That was never my intention, just an acknowledgement that they were ageing. However, I do agree that the line is very bald. But, then again, that could be the layout. I deliberately set it out with the three short lines. I am trying to learn how to make jumps in storylines ... because I need them in something longer.

I am trying to learn the role of the narrator vs the role of the first-person. This writing lark is not easy.

Jilly said...

I suppose everyone asks this of writers, but do you know this couple? Meaning is this a true story of their love of Paris?

Julie said...

Jilly, yes people dont quite understand writers I sometimes think.

This is a true story of MY love of Paris ... and where I am at.

When I write, everything gets dolloped in.