Wednesday, January 20, 2010

20. The green fuse

Come stand with me at sunrise on the naked cliff and know the minuteness of man, the immensity of his planet. Look up, down, out, and you will see the green fuse, but not the force - which is unknowable.

Come turn with me toward mammon and catch the full blast of our drive to fashion, to harness, reflected back at us through the myriad of burnished windows stretching far along the sandstone ridges and the green gullies, now overrun with years of our toil and our abandon.

Come lean toward the east and catch the updraft from the pounding seas below, the spray of salt and the warmth of the rays rising up into the heavens from the distant horizon. Sense the power of the waters, the energy of the winds and luxuriate in the warmth of the sun, as you ponder your place.

Come walk with me toward mammon.


Joan Elizabeth said...

I like this one a lot ... though looking at the picture and the first line I wanted it to say "Come stand with me naked at sunrise on the cliff" ... perhaps too much mammon about.

Why do I like it so much? It communicates beautifully the sense of the "unknowable" that I think most of us feel in the grand places of nature and its strange juxtapostion with "real life".

So much for pleasure writing, worked from 8:30 to 10:00pm today on work writing with hardly any rest .. grrr

Julie said...

Ah but the people cannot be naked, in a wierd inverted way, they are too worldly. On rereading this, there is so much that I would alter. It has just occurred to me that there is a case to be said for updating a Riff. Reading my "rules" this is not contrary to them. I might revisit this Riff in a month. The words need to be tightened, and the structure made even more like verse.

Vicki said...

I really, really like this one, Julie. As well as the strength of the writing, the “green fuse” resonates on so many levels. And once again, you’ve brought the senses into play. Beautiful.

myletterstoemily said...

i love the tug of war here...between the greatness of
creation and the shallowness of mammon.

...did i get it?

Julie said...

Mmm ... I guess so. At a basic level. But man is able to acknowledge both, just there is a lot of slip-sliding-away.