Tuesday, April 20, 2010

110. The red sneakers

Isabella and Daddy were walking to the pond to feed the ducks.

Isabella rode her scooter. Daddy pushed Hugo in the stroller.

'Bella waited for Daddy before crossing the road. The cars waited for them. So did the bicycles, and the horses. They all waited for Isabella, and Hugo, and Daddy to cross the road.

Isabella reached the curved steps on her scooter. Isabella looked up and began to laugh. At the top of the curved steps was a tall fountain. Beside the tall fountain was a pair of red sneakers.

A boy with curly black hair was in the fountain. The boy with curly black hair was laughing and swinging his bare feet high. Water was splashing out of the fountain.

Daddy looked at ‘Bella.

‘Bella looked at Daddy. ‘Bella looked at the laughing boy with bare feet.

Isabella pushed her scooter all the way to the duck pond.


Clytie said...


Joan Elizabeth said...

Ok so this is the children's story genre. Not sure the story was interesting enough for that.

Julie said...

JE, then I have much work to do. I think a children's picture book would be acceptable with between 150 and 300 words, with maybe one 'paragraph' as laid out here to accompany a drawing. I think this is ABOUT the language style that they use - repetitive and child-centric.

What I tried to do here, is have a 'learning' hook which is what Libby Gleason talks about in her classes. My 'hook' here is that not everything that is attractive should necessarily be done.

As with many of these genres, I have to write lots of them before I get their measure at all. There are some genres that I will struggle with and not find interesting. I know that already. What will happen is an ironic parody, which will be naughty of me.

Joan Elizabeth said...

Pretty soon you will be getting lots of practise with reading children's stories again. You can even try some on her.

Julie said...

Today, in Berkelouw's in Paddington, I found a 1950 copy of "The Complete Adventures of Blinky Bill', minus the red sleeve and with an inscription 'To Sandra from Lesley 1951'. It cost me $17 and is in Ma's Chest behind me.

It must be so close to the edition I grew up loving.