Saturday, November 20, 2010

324. Young at heart

*** I am trying to teach myself to write in the present tense, so please bear with me ***

It is true that Norm has a competitive spirit, and is a virile man who blossoms in the great outdoors. His two sons follow in Norm’s footsteps, as one might appreciate. He is blessed with manly boys, though. I would quake for a metro-sexual living under Norm’s roof. And heaven help a homosexual.

Twice a week, since his boys could swim, Norm takes his boys down to the harbour to swim in one of the protected bathing pools. Nowadays, it is more the boys taking Norm. Norm struggles a bit when walking and has used a stick for a long time. It will not be long before he uses a frame. However, Norm is like a fish in water. His weight, his cares, his infirmities are lightened and he is, once again, the master of all he surveys. His boys, as usual, are close by in case he needs help.


Joan Elizabeth said...

Mmm feels like a mix of past and present to me. The thoughts are all in the past, their is little of the present moment in the story.

Julie said...

It is a very tricky thing, writing in the present. There ARE things that you think about NOW that happened in the past.

I am no longer sure ... I will just keep trying.

Julie said...

I challenge your assessment upon re-reading.

The story is carried along in the present. Look at all the verbs, is are rather than was and were.

Not sure how else to assess the tense of a piece.

Joan Elizabeth said...

Again I think it is point of view rather than tense that is bothering. The purpose of writing in the present tense is to create a sense of action and there is still a fly on the wall sense of distance from the action here for me.

Julie said...

Ah ... now that comment is helpful. I was simply mentored to write in the present tense ... not WHY!

I have a couple of books from the library, too.

More present tense practice coming up, I am afraid.

Taa ...